It doesn’t always need a cause - something wrong - it just happens. Sometimes that’s the hardest part to accept.

The fogginess, the tiredness, the worthlessness, the seclusion, the numbness. It’s temporary but it’s painful. Even if I’m numb to the pain itself, I’m aware the wound is opening again.

An overarching fear that it might never go away. A reassuring hope because I’ve gotten through this before. A learnt acceptance that I’ll likely go through it all again.

Even though I’ve been here before, it creeps up and scares me like it’s the first time. The previous episode an evaporated memory. The current one a humbling reality.

This is a recurring battle, but it won’t be the one that defines me. I don’t need to be fixed.

What defines me is the person I unlock when it passes. The loving, kind, curious, caring, passionate, creative, humble, friendly, authentic person I truly am.

In our most vulnerable moments, we’re often experiencing the most profound healing. This journey isn’t easy, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come. This life felt unreachable 10 years ago.

I’m getting stronger every day. I’m stronger than I ever thought I could be. I’m stronger than I think I am.