I’m not feeling anything again. Perhaps just the repressed anger numbing my mind and body.

Detached, dissociated, floating along.

I give away my sense of self too easily. Let my emotional boundaries be crossed. Heightening my insecurities, and silencing my voice.

It’s such a pattern to gaslight myself to protect everyone else. I guess I do struggle with expressing my emotions. Feeling them.

I want to write more about the beauty of life. That’s hard when you can’t quite see it right now. I’ll write what I can in the meantime.

I keep seeing repeat numbers - 111, 222, 333, synchronicity. Trying to tell myself it’s a positive sign, that I’m going in the right direction.

I didn’t want to shut off. I’m just trying to protect myself. I need some space, I think. I just want to feel again.

There’s so much to stand up for in the world but I get so caught up in my own head, on my own problems. I want to feel unity with others. I want to relate.

I want to create something.